Have Internet Will Travel Traveling the world, wherever there's WiFi. The adventures of two freelance digital nomads.

So last week after I updated my Facebook status regarding a bug incident there’s been a fair amount of people asking for more details regarding the critters around us here in the Philippines. And while we’d never want to dissuade anyone from visiting… while in a third world country a person should be prepared to deal with varying types of pesky pest issues.

So, back to the previously mentioned bug incident… I was cooking dinner the other night at the outside stove (some unbelievably tough steaks I believe) and while heading between kitchens for various ingredients, I failed to keep an eye on my can of beer. Cooking completed, we sat down to eat. Then as I finished the last of my beer, I felt the feelers of a fairly large sized cockroach on my lips. Needless to say, I was thoroughly grossed out and sprayed the table with the last swallow of beer. Dumping the roach out of the can, I smashed him good. Incredibly, minutes later when I wondered if the roach had crawled into the can or had been packaged there at the beer plant… I noticed he had managed to crawl a good 2-3 feet from where I had crushed him. I smashed him again, then lit him on fire just to be sure. I can understand why roaches will survive a nuclear blast. They’re near indestructible!

After wiping my lips for a good ten minutes and rinsing my mouth numerous times… no, I still couldn’t forget the roach aftertaste. It spoiled thoughts of beer for days after. Or that could have been the 2 day hangover that began when deciding tequila is the best way to sterilize roach germs. Since then, I drink bottled beer.

Then there was the shower incident… Kelly decided to take a shower shortly after we had moved into our new apartment, which I should mention had been sitting empty for some time due to renovations. A few moments after the shower started up, I heard a small yelp from the bathroom. Thinking she had dropped the soap, I paid it little attention… Seconds later, another louder cry. I yanked open the bathroom door to find Kelly standing on the toilet surrounded by 8-10 roaches which had crawled from the drain and apparently set up shop in the shower curtain. Wielding the bath mat like nunchucks, I mashed them left and right… Boys. We’re good at that kinda thing. Never go on vacation without one.

Over the last 2 weeks, my bug to kill ratio has remained stunningly high. Aside from the cockroaches, which have since disappeared due to spraying the drains and various entrances to the house with an excessive amount of roach spray… We’ve run into 3-4 large spiders approximately the size of my hand. One of which was found hanging out with my underwear in the closet. I’m pretty glad we spotted him before I got dressed that day. There’s some smaller spiders, armies of ants wherever scraps of food are to be found, and mosquitoes at dusk, but aside from the few shocking incidents above, the bugs are fairly low key and infestations can be avoided with common sense, some toxic bug spray, and insect repellent when out at night.

Other than bugs, we saw bats in Panglao. They would hang over the pool at night in the palm trees, waiting for bugs to land in the water. We waited for the pool to be cleaned in the morning after witnessing a fly-by pooping.

There are geckos everywhere. We have a few that come and go in the apartment, which is great because they eat all the bugs. Crawling up the walls, the larger ones make a throaty croaking sound to attract other geckos, or claim territory, or some such National Geographic type explanation. National Geographic never mentioned that when walking under geckos, watch out for crawl-by poopings.

So yeah. We’ve contained the bug issues. There’s no bats in our apartment. The geckos are welcome, but I sleep face down. Now if I can just figure out what to do with the neighbourhood cat that meows outside the window all night and rifles through our garbage, we’re set.